There’s been a lot of talk about bisexual guys this week. First, former tween pop star Aaron Carter came out as bi on Twitter. That was followed a few days later by rapper Lil Peep, who announced he was bisexual on Instagram.
In an interview with celebrity podcast “The Bert Short,” Carter said he has known he was bi since he was 12 or 13. He was in a relationship with a man in his late teens; however, since then he’s only dating women. But, he added, “I’m really looking forward to the future right now–and whether I choose to be with a woman or a man is my decision.”
Now, in a new think-piece, Zachary Zane explains one of the most obnoxious questions he gets as an openly bisexual man.
“‘When’s the last time you dated a woman?’” I get asked this all the time, and it’s probably my least favorite question,” Zane writes.
“First,” Zane explains, “it’s a loaded question, based on the false premise that you have to date men and women equally in order to be ‘truly’ bisexual.”
The question, Zane explains, implies that if he hasn’t dated a member of the opposite sex recently, it somehow means he’s no longer bi.
But, he continues “bisexuality does not have a statute of limitations. After three years of dating men, my bisexuality doesn’t magically disappear, and I don’t revert to being gay.”
“I don’t need to actively date multiple genders in order to identify as bisexual. If I’m still attracted to multiple genders to various degrees, physically and/or emotionally, then I absolutely have the right to claim a bisexual label.”
The second reason Zane hates the question is because, more often than not, the person asking never believes his answer.
“They may nod their heads like they do, but I know they’re most likely thinking to themselves, ‘Yeah, I get that, but like, seriously. When’s the last time you even had sex with a woman? You’re gay for all intents and purposes, right?’”
While he’s not writing anything off, Zane says there’s a very good chance he may never date another woman again in his life, and he’s fine with that.
The main reason for this, he says, is that many women he meets just don’t seem comfortable with his bisexuality. He points to a study conducted by Glamour last year that found nearly two-thirds of straight women said they wouldn’t date a man who’s had sex with another man.
“While I’m attracted to women, love dating women (when we actually do date) and love having sex with women, at this point in my life there are too many barriers to dating them. This may change. Who knows?”
In his interview with “The Bert Short” this week, Aaron Carter said that was the primary reason his girlfriend broke up with him after he came out. (“I had discussed it with my ex-girlfriend and she didn’t really understand it. She didn’t want to, and that was it,” he said.)
So what’s the takeaway from all this?
Basically, Zane says, Arron Carter is right when he says whether he chooses to be with a woman or with a man is his decision, as is the case for all bisexuals.
“I am still both emotionally and physically attracted to women,” he writes, “and under certain conditions, could happily fall in love and date one for the rest of my life.”
h/t: Unicorn Booty