Forty-six-year-old Rob probably says it best: “Why do men send [dick pics]? Because we’re horny. Dumb and horny.” New York Magazine‘s The Cut recently asked 10 men of varying ages and sexual orientations why they send out photos of their junk and their answers, while not particularly shocking, do illuminate the difference between the way straight and gay guys approach the cock shot. (The guys’ occupations — baker, mechanic, software engineer — also read kinda like a post-modern Village People lineup, so that’s fun.)
The number one take-away for straight guys: don’t send it if she doesn’t want it! You’d think that would go without saying, but almost every straight dude in this probably extremely informal survey made a point of saying they don’t — as 37-year-old Anthony so eloquently put it — “dick bomb” women. #MaleFeminism, I guess?
And surprisingly, straight guys seem to really appreciate the difference good lighting and a well-composed image can make! “With the wrong cinematography and lighting, the dick pic can be a colossal tragedy,” says Rob, 46.
On the other hand, straight guys seem to show an alarming lack of creativity when it comes to the kind of sexualized pics then can send: “If you’re going to sext with a lady and she shows you a nipple, you have no choice but to send a dick pic.” Meanwhile, gay dudes have other…assets to show off. “In gay circles and/or networks and/or apps, not only is the dick pic a courtesy, many decide to skip the dick pic altogether and go for the asshole pic, a starfish selfie,” according to 39-year-old videographer Michael — and the actual lived experience of pretty much everyone we know.
Unsurprisingly, the gay guys polled had a much more laissez-faire attitude toward dick pics — they’re just a fact of life for many of us. And while 33-year-old Charlie claims not to send shots of his unit, he does reap the benefits of all the straight phallus his gal-pal has in her photo library.
Then there’s this masterpiece of gay sexual ennui, courtesy of 32-year-old Tanner:
“There’s little explanation beyond this: I do it because I have to if I want sex. In the gay world, a dick pic is the equivalent of small talk, especially on any sort of sex app. There’s usually a hello, a few back-and-forths before showing your dick is the expected next step. At this point, dick pics aren’t exciting anymore. I don’t even try to take good ones myself because it just doesn’t matter — they’re more of a sign you’re breathing than any real barometer of whether a dude will have sex with you.”
Someone put Tanner on suicide watch! If you get a dick pic, you know he’s still breathing.