Tarotscopes that Slay: Get your astrology read for filth (Dec. 6th – January 5th)

NEW MOON IN SAGITTARIUS:

If you watch the Real Housewives of anything long enough, you’ll learn an important fact or two about life. Which is why I keep watching, among other reasons– I’m looking at you Lisa Rinna! Time and time again, two housewives will get into a dramatic disagreement. And then they will retell this fight all over town. Each of them with a diametrically different version of events. They call these stories narratives and there will be two (sometimes more) totally different narratives floating around for weeks, even months. That is until we get to the reunion. At the reunion, we learn the story that exists between all these subjective stories. At the reunion we finally get the truth.

Photo of real housewife of New York

Welcome to Earth’s reunion episode. We’ve arrived at the end of our season and it’s time to learn the truth about what’s really been going. Wherever Jupiter is, he expands what he finds. In Scorpio, Jupiter expanded our darkness, our shadow– it illuminated where we had deep wounds and healing to address. Now, with Jupiter rooted in its home sign of Sagittarius (where it will flourish for the next 14 months), he will be doling out the truth, and lots of it. Maybe even some hard truths. But if the Real Housewives can face the truth, we’ve got no excuse. And this New Moon in Sagittarius is a major opportunity to open your heart to the truth.

Truth is big word and there are many different kinds. What you feel is true for you– but that doesn’t apply to everyone. There are personal subjective truths. And then are big objective truths, like laws of nature. And I think these big truths where Jupiter wants to shine his light. This bright, beneficent planet wants to expand our perceptions so we can see the universal truths that unite us. That is how we might find our way back to each other. By taking a step back from our own limited experience and opening up our hearts to the truth of another, we can repair the fracturing of our communities.

How do you open your heart to the truth? Simple. Be less attached to your own story. Be more committed to the truth and less committed to being right. The truth is an adventure and Sagittarius loves adventure. The most exciting journey is the one towards discovering the truth of who you really are. Baby, if you can give yourself over to that, you will be changed forever. But you have to choose, because if we don’t want the truth, we can hide from it forever. I’m ready for an era of honesty and openness. What about you? Well, if we want it, it starts with us. Take some time on Thursday or Friday night and connect to the invisible New Moon. Officially it happens at 15 degrees Sagittarius at 11:20 PM (PST). But I’d say from now until Saturday morning the portal is open to connect with her, to nvite her into your heart. And then ask her to help you tell the truth on yourself.

If you can tell the truth on yourself, you can tell the truth on anything. If you can spot your own deceptions clearly, you’ll never be deceived again. Sagittarius is a fire sign and so you might feel called to a fire ritual. Simply grab a candle and write down a few lies you’re ready to release. Lies you’ve told yourself or others. It can be really powerful to write down: I’m never going to find a partner OR I’m terrible at my job AND THEN burn those fuckers down. The stories that keep you small and suffering are not true (truly, they’re not!) and it’s time you let them go. However you celebrate the New Moon, I hope you take some time to connect to yourself, Mother Nature and your heart. And I hope we all recommit to the endless pursuit of truth, within ourselves and out in the beautiful world we all share.

Promotional shot for "Spiritual Gayz" podcast

The exciting and aggravating thing with Astrology is that there’s always something happening. But I can’t get into all that here because there just isn’t space or time. So my husband and I encourage you to please tune into The Spiritual Gayz, our twice-monthly podcast dedicated to exploring the wide reaches of spirituality without pretending that it all makes sense. Our aim is to make all this esoteric wisdom as accessible as a Real Housewives reunion because these ancient practices are our birthright and we’ve been disconnected from them for too long! Our last episode featured visionary artist and Tarot Deck designer James. R Eads and you really don’t want to miss it. Tune in, subscribe, follow us on Instagram and please rate us 5 stars! How do you find it? Easy! Click HERE.

Also, if you’ve been feeling a call to learn more about the Tarot herself, you’re in luck. Instead of buying more stuff give yourself or someone you love the gift of learning. I’m calling all my witchy brothers and sisters (or even just witchy curious) to join me for a three week seminar in Los Angeles called TAROT + VINO (starting on January 24th). These three classes will give you everything you need to begin to connect with your intuition and confidently read cards for yourself and others. It’s taking place at Spoonfed Kitchen in Hollywood. Every class will come with wine pairings and snacks and each student will receive their own copy of the Wild Unknown Tarot deck. Find more information about the class here.

COLLECTIVE CARDS FOR THE MOONTH:

Ten of Pentacles (reversed)

Ten of pentacles (reversed)

The Ten of Pentacles is the Oprah abundance card. You get a car and you get a car and you get the idea. It is such a positive card that even having it upside down won’t rain on its parade. This card signifies money coming in, satisfaction, success… and maybe even excess. And who doesn’t want that? But when it comes in reversed it carries an additional message. Essentially, it’s saying to look around your life and notice all that you have. Because honey, you already have everything you need. What’s missing is your gratitude.

My husband picked up a bedtime ritual from a good friend: as he waits for sleep, he makes a mental list of all the things he’s grateful for. This helps him fall asleep in a state of gratitude. Imagine if we could LIVE in a state of gratitude. That’s the opportunity in this next moonth. Each and every day is a gift. The food we eat and the water we drink are offerings and we are lucky to receive them. As the Holidays roll through, this card challenges us to stay grateful, not greedy. Remember, you are the things you pay attention to, so if you’re paying attention to your losses, you’ll become lost. If you pay attention to your gifts, you’ll be truly gifted.

Below are personalized Tarotscopes for each sign.

Read for your sun sign, and if you know your rising sign you can read that too.

In the interest of Mercury Retrograde, you’ll find your messages direct and to the point.

SAGITTARIUS

The Lovers

The Lovers are you. Within you are many different people all waiting to partner with each other. I know that sounds a little kooky but you have an inner god and an inner goddess– and if they haven’t even been on a first date yet, gurl, get to it. This month wants you to partner with yourself and choose your own adventure. And you must choose from your heart. This card speaks to the period of adolescence where we break away from what our parents wanted for us and start to explore what we want for ourselves. This next moonth is a beautiful opportunity to rediscover what you love and who you love. But it needs to start with you. Love yourself, star child. Love all the way out into your edges and invite the outcast inside yourself to take their rightful seat at the table of your soul.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

CAPRICORN

Son of Swords

Every once in a while we are presented with a rare window of opportunity to change our minds. I remember when I was trying to quit smoking, every couple of months I would wake up and not want a cigarette– I remember thinking, today is the day I could really quit. Sometimes I bought a pack and fell into my ways. But one day, I felt that window present itself to me and I walked through it and haven’t smoked a single puff in over five years. I tell you all this because this month ahead is your window. The Son of Swords blows through like a great wind and sweeps us clear of our outdated beliefs and old programming. You’re ready to release all the negative self talk, the criticism and the complaining. And with your thoughts clear you can start to pay attention to what is coming out of your mouth. Your words are spells, so are you a good witch or a bad witch?

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

AQUARIUS

Son of Wands

Son of wands

We are the Son of Wands when we are our most magnetic and charismatic self. Not because we’ve turned on the charm but because we are being ourselves, uninhibited and uncensored. This moonth is your time to lean all the way into your own kooky essence. The more you can follow your passions without apology, the more appealing everyone is going to find you. Because isn’t that what happens when we are consumed with our interests? Everything else fades away and we shine like the little suns we are. People will gravitate towards your light and warmth so long as you keep your inner furnace blazing. Which is to say, by all means be life of the party just make sure to recharge your batteries before and after.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

PISCES

Five of Pentacles

Five of pentacles

I don’t know about you but the Holiday season gives me serious melancholy. And there’s actually a good reason for it. It’s cold. It’s dark. It’s winter. Even here in Los Angeles, it’s pitch black at 5 PM. This is the season for turning inwards and getting lean. We get lean so we can survive. The Five of Pentacles is inviting you into these leaner states. This is the energy of change, of releasing. You need to allow yourself to grieve, to feel the things you’ve lost this year, to empty out all the emotion you’ve built up. Only by allowing this sort of purge will you enter into 2019 feeling fresh and renewed. I know it’s not an easy task, but I promise once the tears start flowing, it feels amazing to cry yourself clean.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

ARIES

Mother of Wands (reversed)

Stop resisting your magic. You’re like Harry Potter right now before he discovered who he really was. You’re feeling lost and confused, like a stranger in a strange land. You’re trying to find answers in ordinary reality and the Mother of Wands is trying to coax you into the invisible realms. Basically what I’m trying to say, Aries, is that you’re a witch and it’s time you start learning how to use your powers. The more connected we are to our soul’s purpose, the more the universe will move mountains to keep us on path. Magic happens when we act in alignment with all things. So use this moonth and open up your extra-sensory perceptions and pay attention to the synchronicities. Consider, if this month is the Matrix, you just took the red pill.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

TAURUS

Seven of Pentacles (reversed)

Seven of pentacles (reversed)

The Seven of Pentacles is a gentle reminder that how we spend our time is how we spend our lives. If you don’t enjoy the activities that are filling out your calendar, get rid of them. Imagine a gardener tending to a rose garden only to find out he doesn’t like the smell of roses. We have all been that gardener, growing things we have no interest in harvesting. With any Seven in the Tarot we are asked to take a spiritual perspective and ensure the actions of our lives fall in alignment with our hearts. You must be practical and look at your daily commitments, your work, your finances– are you building towards fulfillment and success? Be brutally honest with yourself. Because now is the perfect time for course corrections. Either it brings you joy or it doesn’t. I’ll leave you with this quote from David Whyte: Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

GEMINI

Two of Wands (reversed)

Two of wands (reversed)

In my experience, the Two of Wands always wants me to work and work hard. This card charts the period of the creative process where we are in development. The big idea is here but how will you deliver it? That’s the challenge you’ll be undertaking this moonth. Build your foundation slowly. Use all of yourself. Figure out how you’ll start to bring your gifts to the world. It’s not easy to feel your power, the size of your gifts and then create the container to hold them. But it’s the only way to share your messages. Start slow and start small, the skeleton is key. Once you’ve created the outline, you can color in the details. But this month, just work in black and white. Keep working and work hard.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

CANCER

Justice

Justice

This is a month of revelation for you, dear Cancer. Justice brings us a dynamic understanding of our life and our purpose. Justice helps us realize why our path has curved in its own curious way. Above all, Justice shows us our place in the great web of life and once we’ve felt our interconnectedness, we have no choice but to be changed. Expect lots of Aha moments this cycle. Expect secrets to come to light and the whole story to be revealed. Based on what you learn this month, you will be faced with some decisions. Will you fall back into ignorance or will you be a warrior for Justice in this world and help wake up those around you?

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

LEO

The Hanged Man (reversed)

The hanged man (reversed)

This moonth is all about surrender, spicy Leo. The Hanged Man is a master of going with the flow and he is inviting you to flow alongside him. But who or what exactly are you surrendering to? First and foremost you are surrendering to yourself, to your own authenticity. Stop fighting your innate desires and interests. The more you can allow your individuality to be expressed, the sooner you’ll understand your unique soul’s purpose. But also, you are called to surrender to the rhythms of nature. When we go against nature, we go against ourselves. If you can work with nature, you will end up getting where you need to go a whole lot faster than if you had tried to control the whole process. Don’t manipulate. Don’t mastermind. Instead, trust and allow. Those are the key words for your moonth with The Hanged Man.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

VIRGO

Six of Wands (reversed)

Six of cups (reversed)

The Six of Wands is a profoundly sweet and swift energy. Where the Five of Wands had us feeling lost, scattered and competitive, the Six brings us the wind that will carry us forwards. You can use this moonth most effectively as a laboratory to experiment with how to do things in a different way. Your energy has been shaken up and now it can reassemble in a cleaner, clearer, more direct way. Six of Wands says you are now a clean slate in regards to your old ways of being and feeling. As of this moment, the past no longer defines you. Let yourself rise to a higher plane and don’t allow the pedestrian stressors to bog you down. You are a river this month and like a river you must flow freely and easily. Remember, that to a river, obstacles are not to be surmounted, they are to be sidestepped.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

LIBRA

Eight of Cups

Eights of cups

This is not an easy card, charming Libra, but its medicine is pure and potent. The Eight of Cups is all about walking away. When we give ourselves permission to release the people, places and things in our lives that are no longer in alignment with our hearts, we create the space for new, more aligned relationships, career opportunities and sanctuaries to appear. At its core, this card challenges us to stop settling, to demand more. Sure, you’re 80% satisfied in your job. But if you want 100% fulfillment, you’re going to have to quit. Maybe that’s a terrifying thought right now. But our fear is exactly what we should follow if we are hungry for accelerated transformation. The year isn’t over yet! Imagine how quickly your life could reassemble if only you could let some of that old shit go.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

SCORPIO

Two of Swords

Two of swords

This is the meditation and contemplation card. It says: Sometimes no action is the best action to take. But what exactly are you contemplating? The two swords represent the old story of your life (which has derailed and detained you) and the new one (which you are currently writing into being). Take this month and observe how the old, outdated story of your life continues to attempt to unravel your hard work. And start to pay attention to how the new story of your life is trying to transport you into a world where you a living your dreams. The stories we tell ourselves are all we have in this life. Take this moonth and make sure that the story you tell yourself about your worth and your work is as sharp as a saber.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

BRANDON ALTER is a queer healer, Tarot reader, teacher and writer living in Los Angeles. He is passionate about sharing spiritual tools that have helped him reconnect to the wisdom of his heart. He is the Tarot reader in residence for The Numinous and he co-hosts The Spiritual Gayz with his husband, a twice-monthly podcast dedicated to exploring the wide reaches of spirituality, without pretending that it all makes sense. Brandon’s mom took him to his very first psychic when he was seven and gave him his first Tarot deck when he was eleven. Since then he has devoted himself to the study of Tarot, Yoga, Pilates, Reiki, Astrology and Shamanic Skills.

Visit www.brandonalterwellness.com to learn more. And to sign up for his twice-monthly newsletter, click here.

h/t: Queerty