As if being gay and in the throes of puberty weren’t difficult enough, a teenager claims he found his homophobic dad on Grindr.
Found out that my “Homophobe” dad has Grindr on his iPhone when he asked me to go fetch it from the car. I am still closeted (denial/curious) so i know what Grindr is, even though i don’t have it myself. This makes it so much more confusing for me.
The post has received over 100 responses, with other Reddit users offering a wide range of advice.
“My dad was extremely homophobic before I came out to him when I was 18,” atomicpunksf replied. “He ended up doing a total 180 after going to therapy and eventually became the president of our local PFLAG chapter for a while. He later told me that he was bisexual and admitted that his homophobia was due to his own self hatred around being bisexual.”
“A closeted married guy on Grindr might have some intense homophobia going on that he could take out on the queer kid in his care,” jaycatt7 warned. “Tread carefully.”
“Don’t tell your mother until you have had the chance to talk to him,” dipaolo said. “I know that family makes this predicament 10 times more complicated, but outing someone has repercussions.”
Other advice was slightly less helpful.
“You may have to make a fake profile and try to seduce him,” varianlogic said.
“Is your dad hot?” Jota769 asked.
“Don’t hook up with him,” NotAmused1001 advised.
A few weeks later, decidinginbetween posted the following update on the situation:
Hi all, appreciate all the kind words of help and encouragement. I don’t know how to explain it in details though, but TLDR: Dad stood in denial and went on the defensive, even tried to question my own sexuality. Mom still does not know and that pains me. I guess he would still be that closeted homophobe and I that closeted homo who is too shit to do more. Maybe all of this is just in my head. Maybe i am just thinking too much.
Here’s hoping these two find peace in their complicated situation.