“More and more I’ve been feeling like even the question ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ is passé,” blogger Rich Juzwiak writes in a new op-ed published on Gawker.
Versatility, he believes, is where it’s at. But he didn’t always feel that way.
For years, Juzwiak identified as a top. “But curiosity kept creeping up on me,” he says, “temping me to try what makes many a guy’s eyes roll back in his head uncontrollably.”
So he decided the give bottoming a try.
“The first guy who ever fucked me I met via gay.com; I don’t remember his name. He lived on the inland of South Jersey, so that’s probably for the best,” Juzwiak writes. “He was a terrible top. He knew that I was inexperienced, but told me that I just needed to relax to enjoy the experience. I felt the white heat of pain in my butt the entire time.”
But he didn’t let that one bad experience dissuade him from trying it again. (With a different gentleman, of course.)
“Bottoming remained a crapshoot (pun intended),” he says. “It could be great; it could be massively painful; it could be uncomfortable enough to feel like a big waste of time.”
Then, in 2013, Juzwaik had a prostate exam. His doctor asked him, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a real tight ass?”
To which he replied: “Isn’t that a good thing?”
Juswaik’s doctor recommended exercises he try (including taking poppers) that might help him relax and enjoy bottoming more. Today, Juzwaik says he loves pounding just as much as getting pounded.
“One of the greatest things about being versatile is that you are potentially sexually compatible with anyone,” he writes. “I’d say I’ve topped in 75 percent of my casual encounters in the past two-and-a-half years. I was also in a relationship where I bottomed exclusively.”
“Finding your preferred sexual role…requires a deep level of introspection about something generally regarded as carnal,” Juswaik writes. “It requires work and experimentation to get it right.”
“But that work,” he concludes, “clearly, is loads of fun.”
What do you think? Is the notion of “top” and “bottom” passé? Sound off in the comments section below.