We can’t be seen as a group of people that want to have a unified message of equality and no discrimination if we ourselves are dividing ourselves through whatever methods, whether someone is feminine or someone is masculine or someone is black or someone is white. If we continue to create these own divisions within our own community, we are no better than the ones discriminating against us. And it’s extremely important because we have to change the way that we think. We have to change our own minds within our own community, open our own minds before we can expect other people to open their minds to us.
Rob Smith Responds:
I feel for Nelson. He’s obviously hurting, but he (and others) who want to take on this issue seem to think that our problems with racism will be solved if white gay men somehow magically became always as attracted to black, Asian, and Latino men as they (mostly) are to each other. It’s a weak argument that I have more than a few problems with:
First, the argument is always made by a black guy who seems to have built their entire idea of self worth on whether or not white gays see them as attractive. With deep empathy I say: get over it. Love yourself first and I guarantee that someone else will follow. We all have things we innately like, whether it’s thinner guys, beefier guys, or, yes, guys that are a certain race.
Secondly, the argument is always centered on white gays, ignoring the MANY gay men of color who also prefer to date within their own race. Are “sticky rice” Asians racist? Are black men who prefer to exclusively date other black men racist? How about Latinos who find themselves preferring to date other Latinos who share their same language and cultural values? Or what about the fact that many people’s taste changes over time?
As you can see, the topic is more complicated than, well, black and white.